At last, I think I found it.

After writing yesterday’s blog about inspiration I went home feeling guess what… uninspired. My night started out quiet. I talked with Michele and bummed around all night fully intending to just be lazy, which is actually what happened for the majority of the night. We watched our favorite shows, grabbed two forks, dove into a chocolate cake, and snuggled with Margot.

We exhausted ourselves doing nothing. Margot and I made our way upstairs, fully intending to cuddle up in bed and fall asleep. I was exhausted. I had a million and a half things weighing down on my mind. I pushed all of the projects I intended to complete off my bed and crawled in. I pulled the covers up and started to wind down. Then it hit me.

I couldn’t help but remember a drawing one of my favorite art teachers posted yesterday morning. I saw it earlier in the day when my mind was swamped with other things. But there it was, in the back of my mind, waiting for me to notice.

Something about that drawing got to me. Something about the figure on the left, her arms swung casually over her head. I love the movement of her body and the diagonal line to the right of her knee. I got out of bed and I grabbed my pallet. Lucky for me I had a canvas lying around from a project I never started. Sometimes procrastination pays off.

Painting is my favorite thing in the entire world but I’ve been in quite the slump lately. Although I love to do it, sometimes I just don’t feel it. I wish I could be inspired enough to paint every day but I just don’t work like that. I wish I could go back to school and draw or paint every day. I wish there was a perfectly lit model, in some amazing composition, waiting for me, but life just doesn’t work like that.

Lately I’ve been trying to focus on myself a little more. Sometimes I have to remember that I deserve my own attention. At times I lose focus of the things that really make me happy. I overwhelm myself on a daily basis and trip over my own thoughts. Sometimes my mind slows down without me noticing, like last night, and shows me what I need.

I can’t help but feel blessed when that happens. I can’t force it, or schedule it, or make it fit better. It’s not something that’s in my control. I’m tired today, and that painting isn’t finished, but I feel so good. I hope you find the thing in your life that does this for you.

 

Love, Rachael

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